My new idea is that true self-care consists of establishing routines and boundaries, cleaning your life, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.
As unpopular as it may sound, I don’t believe I require a massage when I’m stressed.
Even if I had the time or money to go to a spa, I would be unable to relax due to my recent stress. Everything that needed to be done would still be there and ready for me after my appointment.
Excessive spa spending is just not a viable option for people with little financial resources, poor access to childcare, and high levels of stress.
Our needs frequently take a back seat or are completely ignored when we are stressed. We could be the family’s principal provider, the keeper of the hearth, or the go-between.
In these instances, we resemble Sisyphus, lugging the mythical boulder uphill, except instead of the boulder, we’re dealing with an infinite list of tasks.
Self-Care Is Difficult
When someone realizes they are drowning and being pulled in too many directions, it is advisable to avoid from telling them to exercise self-care.
It just adds to the list of things they’re failing at for the person who is already desperately struggling to handle everything.
After I tried to explain why I was tired, a friend’s well-intended advise to “simply go book a massage!” was provided to me.
Aside from the fact that my finances couldn’t sustain it, I was an overwhelmed and over-touched mother. I didn’t want to pay someone to touch me any more than was absolutely required.
What I really desired was practical aid, such as a child entertainment so I could use the restroom alone. I needed advice on difficult job scenarios as well as what the hell we should eat for dinner.
This was intimidating to examine all of the minor details. I was in desperate need of communal care, not self-care.
Fundamentals Of Self-Care
After fulfilling my urgent needs, I needed to reorganize my life in order to be sustainable.
Made by me three significant changes:
- My creation of daily routines.
- I approached my neighbors.
- I set value-based constraints.
First and foremost, I prioritized community development. Even if you never seek for help, knowing that you can relieves tension. I purposefully declined invitations that were unrelated to my core principles and planned activities that were.
Are you anything like me, denying is difficult. It’s getting better, but I’m still sad. When I consented to activities I didn’t want to do, it filled my calendar and caused dissatisfaction.
Used by me to let life’s upheavals interfere with my spiritual and mindfulness practices.
My better equipped to continue the aforementioned activities since I could say no. If I ever got a massage, I’d be able to appreciate it a lot more if I set suitable boundaries.
Self-Care Is Entirely Free
I have six suggestions that will not cost you much, if any, money. They do, however, need reflection and self-dedication.
Change The Flow Of Your Kitchen
You are the one in the family who is responsible for preparing food for the family, a better kitchen flow will provide much-needed efficiency.
Take on the following three challenges:
- shopping list
Keep A Running Shopping List
When someone uses the last of something, they must add it to the list.
Two advantages of it. Because the list will be (nearly) complete, it will take less time to prepare for shopping.
It also avoids the unpleasant last-minute surprise of running out of a critical item for the scheduled meal or, worse, toilet paper.
Clean Up Your Surroundings
Get rid of any unused furniture, cookware, or other items. They make it more difficult to find and arrange the items you actually use.
Let them out of the way, even if it’s only storing them.
Organize Your Kitchen So That It May Be Used
How many meals do you plan to freeze? Consider storing freezer bags somewhere you won’t have to look for them. Child malnutrition? Fruit that has already been cleaned should be set out so that it may be collected quickly without stopping to help someone.
Maybe you surprised at how much time and energy interruptions can save you.
Organize Your Workstation
Every adult is entitled to a personal, well-kept workspace. If you are a stay-at-home mom, do not undervalue the work you put in to maintain your home. You should keep your own room.
Don’t let people become accustomed to taking over your desk if you have one. Remove anything that isn’t required for your task from the area. Then, during each work session, cease looking for materials such as pens, calculators, or power cords.
You are unclear of your requirements. Keep a note of the items you use during the course of a week. Make a commitment to having such items on hand for yourself and off-limits to anyone who will not return them to their homes in perfect condition.
Do you don’t have a dedicated workspace, create a “work kit” out of a large tray or box and stock it with the things you constantly need. When not in use, place it on a shelf or in a closet to keep it safe.
All that remains is to gather your “kit” or sit down at your desk to begin working.
Send that email, SMS, letter, and so on.
Create That Letter, Email, Or Text Message
To receive community care, you must be a member of a community. This requires forming and maintaining alliances.
Is it easy to put off addressing a relative’s notecards, responding to a text, or even stopping to visit with the neighbors when your life is chaotic.
Unfortunately, the more you wait to reciprocate, the more uncomfortable it becomes to begin later.
What I do know is that folks who care about you appreciate your communication. Write the letter or SMS as soon as possible on your newly arranged, clutter-free desk!
Because maintaining loving connections is necessary for living a good life, doing so is an act of self-care.
Improve The Efficiency Of Your Morning Routine
Are you rush out of bed, your day will be ruined.
A morning routine helps you remember where things are, what is expected of you, and how you will take care of your responsibilities and your own well-being. You could feel more grounded and ready to tackle the day.
Morning rituals can include the following activities:
- utilizing mindfulness
- Recitation of affirmations
- taking your phone away for an extended period of time
- making day-to-day plans
The most important part of your routine is its long-term viability. Everyone does not have a lot of spare time in the morning. Attempt to reorganize your schedule to fit in 15 to 30 minutes.
Drinking water, exercising, and centering myself must be part of my morning rituals.
Start your day with a cup of water because we’ve all heard about its health benefits.
Use the remaining time wisely. Try some calming stretches or a calorie-burning workout, whichever feels most comfortable for you.
Then give yourself some time to relax. Pray, meditate, or visualize yourself as your best self.
Plan Your Nightly Routine
The same is true for your evening routine. When we doze off in front of the TV or scroll through dread on our phones, technological light and stimulation can interfere with sleep.
At least 30 minutes before bedtime, turn off all electronics. Use that time to organize your clothes, food, and plan for the next morning.
Is there anything you need to take out of the freezer for dinner? Do you bring a lunch to work? Do it right now.
Perform these tasks in the same order every day to create mental muscle memory. This implies you won’t have to give them much thought or work hard to finish them.
This will also prepare your body and mind for sleep and prevent you from rushing around in the morning.
Spend The Day Relaxing
Humans benefit from regular, cyclical breaks from chores. This is reflected in traditions such as the Jewish Sabbath.
Even if you are not religious, set aside some time each week when you are not working. Allowing oneself to practice contentment will be beneficial.
Here are some preliminary ideas:
- leisurely strolling through the neighborhood
- watching a funny movie
- reading a difficult book
Of course, you can also arrange for a massage or a facial. Just keep in mind that restoration does not require spending money.
Self-care is all about creating a life that doesn’t require bandages to be comfortable. It’s useful to distinguish between times when you should take better care of yourself and times when you need aid from your community.
Don’t give up on yourself despite the failure of your first attempts. Experiment with new things and change your routines as needed.
Will you finally figure out how to give your body, mind, and spirit the attention they need.